However, behind the apparent glitz and glamour that was a new job, money, and getting to know a new set of friends, it was not long before the job became a dull drag which killed my summer social life and left me stressed, tired, and with a totally reversed sleeping pattern (okay, granted, the nocturnal sleeping pattern is fairly normal for me.. but it didn't help!). And so, having left my job just over two weeks ago in preparation for my move back to sunny Bangor and my final year of university on Saturday, I thought I'd share a few of my observations on the goings on I'd witness nearly every weekend.
Now you get a good variety of people going into bars and clubs, and this becomes especially apparent when you're working in one, sober, every weekend. There is always a group of girls who stumble in especially early, fake tanned, bleached hair, dresses barely covering.. anything, really; arses out, tits out, a nice little show of next week's washing. They get in their first round of Jäger bombs and immediately run to the dancefloor, screaming above the music (which, at 9:30, is never loud), really making fools of themselves. You can only admire their ability to have a good time when they're the only ones in the bar! Not long after they move on to another bar but almost always return a little later, barely standing, and are, more often than not, the last ones to leave as they chat up the doormen at the end of the night.
You also see what I can only describe as scrounger. The same girl, coming in every night, making her way around whatever men she can find in an effort to get free drinks. She hangs around the end of the bar for a good amount of time, watching for men like a hawk, and she's not fussy! Old, young, or in my case, gay, it doesn't matter. The oddest thing is she never actually twigged I'm gay, apparently I must give away straight vibes at work! She'd claim every night that I still "owe" her a free shot, to which I'd inevitably reply "for what?" and the cycle would go on and on. A few drinks later she'd often become a lot more physical with me, so much so it became a running joke behind the bar that I'd flirt with her as much as possible to take the piss. She still thinks to this day that I'm straight!
And expanding on the "straight vibes" thing, it was quite ridiculous how many women would come onto me on a nightly basis. This could be anyone from the aforementioned girl, to middle-aged women, to hen parties.. anyone! They wanted pictures, they wanted hugs, they would stack my glass trays for me. The funniest (and most uncomfortable) female encounter happened one night when a slightly rotund (okay, fat) girl reversed into me and my glass tray. Seeing I was less than impressed she apologised again and again until commenting on how "gorgeous" I am. Next thing I know she lent in, grabbed my head and tried to kiss me. I reacted by turning my head to the side and saying "I'm gay" while she effectively chewed on the side of my face. She stopped and said "well would you if you weren't?", still holding onto me. The only way I could escape was by saying yes at which point I ran a mile! Cringe!
Girls are also FAR more digusting than guys when it comes to toilets. I had to go into the women's toilets on my last shift and restock the toilet roll, and nothing, I mean NOTHING could have prepared me for what I was about to see... Broken toilet seats, vomit up the walls, toilet paper mixed what I assume (and hope) was water all over the floor, several girls using each cubicle, a few on the floor heads over the toilet, it was madness. A trip into the mens just after to wash my hands after being in what I can only describe as germ hell could not have been more different. I didn't realise girls were so disgusting, you usually expect it to be the men who have the horrible toilets!
Regardless of this, I did have fun working there. We often got very drunk at work (never more so than on my last shift), and the people I worked with were a lot of fun. One girl made the most insanely strong cocktails which would have you wasted after one, amazing. So despite the often strange and cringey experiences I'd have every night, these people for the most part kept me sane, and I'll miss working with them!
However, a last note to self: if anyone ever offers you a job glass collecting in the future, tell them politely to fuck off.
